by Mindy Cushing
"For the LORD says this, 'Behold, I extend peace to her like a river, and the glory of the nations like an overflowing stream; And you will be nursed, you will be carried on her hip and playfully rocked on her knees. As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you.'" Isaiah 66:12-13 (AMP)
When I first married, I only wanted two children because I thought it just balances out. My silly reasoning was that everyone could fit in a booth at a restaurant and there would be no odd man out! It was all I had known, having one sibling myself growing up. I also must admit that I didn't have much of a heart for kids in my younger years. I remember going out to eat with my husband early in our marriage and asking to be moved to a different table because I didn't want to be around kids. It was an area that seemed out of control to me, and I really liked to be in control!
Low and behold, 17 years of marriage later, I have 5 kids! Yes, I did say that right! My husband and I had 3 and decided we were done, but the Lord had another plan that was so much bigger and better than what we could ever have imagined! When I found out that I was having twins, I burst out into laughter, thinking, "Only God?!" Here we thought we were done, and the Lord gave us a quiver full of blessings!!
The Lord has taught me so many things through these years of motherhood. He has taught me that I am not in control and to release everything to Him. I've come to realize that I had no control in the first place, so I might as well stop striving to take hold of something I will never have - to surrender and allow Him to pick up the pieces and carry our family under His wing of compassion, comfort and love. After all, being under the Lord's wing is the most joyous place to ever be, completely leaning on Him and allowing Him to mold me and make me what He desires, fulfilling the purposes that He has set forth for me and my family. I now recognize that when I am striving to do it all on my own and in my own strength (something I have done many times over the years), it only leads to weariness and brokenness. But, when I lay it all down at Jesus' feet each day and ask the Holy Spirit to fill me up and use me so that I can be all that He desires me to be, it changes my day completely and I am given a kingdom and eternal perspective on what is going on around me. When I come to the Lord from a place of repentance, asking Him to forgive me for things that I have thought, done and said that were not pleasing to Him, He always forgives me and remembers those sins no more (Hebrews 8:12). They are wiped away! I also take those sins to my family when the Lord convicts me to do so, asking them to forgive me, as well. The Lord renews me and strengthens me, opening my heart to hear Him clearly. On the days when I am completely surrendered to Him, I am filled with such joy and am ready to journey through the day with my children and all that the Lord has for us to accomplish for His kingdom purposes. He is so good to us!
The Lord has extended His peace to me like a river, as I lean on Him for support. He has used my children, my God-given role as a mother and the challenges I face daily, to refine me and prepare me for my eternal home in Heaven. Oh...how wonderful that day will be! The Lord has been my arm of support, He has carried me on His hip through the years and will continue to do so all my days! He is the one that has playfully rocked me on His knees, and now I can do the same for those young lives He has entrusted to me. As the Lord has extended that maternal love to me, I can extend that same love, compassion and grace to my own children. I pray that they would see Christ in me as I pour our my love to them and surrender all that I am to my Savior, King Jesus!